I love you too much to let go

Tears subconciously escaped from the corner of my eyes when she spoke to me.

"I didn't know my words really hurt you. I didn't know you think that I don't trust you. I do trust you, I am just too protective. I'm afraid you'd get hurt. You're grown up now but in my heart, you're still my little girl."
...I couldn't bear to listen anymore so I tried to get away. I couldn't stay to watch my mother speak to me with tears in her eyes. She reached out to hug me but I just stood there, numb. I couldn't bring myself to speak to her and let her in on my thoughts. I couldn't handle it without breaking down, y'know?


"Do you understand?"
I don't understand.. I don't want to. A part of me wants to grow up so badly in your eyes and yearn for the freedom of an adult yet another part of me wants to be showered with your love, sheltered with your care and just be your little girl forever.

I don't know how to say all these things to you 'cause the last time I tried to talk to you, I recall that we were both screaming at the top of our lungs at each other because you so persistently stood firm on your ground and refused to pause and hear me. I don't remember the one time you would actually listen to what I have to say; none of the words I ever uttered got through you head. You always render me speechless with your unreasonable assumptions and spiteful comebacks.

Today, it finally, finally dawned upon you. And here I am. Crying to myself as my fingers rhythmically poke on the keyboard. I am so overwhelmed that I don't know if I should be glad or sad.


I want to live in reverie for all of my life. Is it possible?