不想再为爱而哭了.

I'm having Berkala 2 next week. Oh, the unholiness. I know I am gonna fucking flunk everything, again. Seriously, somebody ought to slap me awake. I know I don't have much time left to study yet I still waste my precious irreversible time doing unproductive things like what I'm doing this instant. And everybody knows I'm gonna fucking regret why I didn't take the initiative to mug harder, earlier.

Why can't I heed on my parents' words? My brothers' words? Why can't I get their words into my head? They always tell me I'm gonna fucking regret it when I come out from school with my crappy results and yes, I know that too. But I don't know why, I just can't bring myself to study, even for a little while.

Frankly speaking, I still think there's alot of time for me. Yes, I like to think that way but it's not like that. Reality is, I don't.. SPM is next year and this year is gonna be over very soon which means I really, really have to start studying and put my heart into my studies. BUT! I just can't freaking bring myself to do it, I don't know why. Tell me why? Why.. I am fucking ridiculous.

UGHSZXXX, I OUGHT TO GROW UP AND THINK RATIONALLY, THINK MATURE! I need to. No matter how much I don't want to, it's time.

Truth is, I'm still lost in my stupid reveries. Xxx.