Lost

I kind of lost track of my life. I never bother to write my blog anymore and I am truly sorry for that.

I hate my semester results. I hate what I am studying. I HATE IT TO THE VERY BONE. I can't do it and my mind believes entirely so. No matter how hard I urge myself to try, I can't. I JUST DON'T SEE THE POINT OF TRYING ANYMORE, QUITE FRANKLY. I CAN'T BLOODY DO IT ANYWAY. (I know it sounds like I am giving up. Maybe, I am?) I am so torn, really.

I no longer have dreams. I once had goals and the goals I had set for myself are slowly, one by one diminishing. My future is an utter blank.

The fear of not being in control of my life is bubbling to the surface of my nonchalant facade. I am am truly intimidated by the future and what life has to unfold for me next.

Words can't capture the remorse I feel within. If only I could have waited a few more months to decide. If and only if I could have summoned the courage to come clean a few months earlier.

I am indecisive...and I still am. Help me.