I love my family with the depths of my soul and I'd more than willing to travel to the ends of the earth for any of them but right now, for the past few weeks/months, I just can't bring myself to love my mum anymore. Dread brews within me at the sight of her and at the sound of her voice. I don't see love in her eyes, I only see disdain. My heart aches with the thought and I can't help the tears from welling and streaming down my cheeks when unhappiness consume my thoughts. I'm sorry I'm no where near perfect nor am I the ideal daughter.
I hate that I can't even be myself when I'm around you anymore. I can't stand being in the same breathing space as you because when I'm with you, I only feel dread and that upsets me.
It's true that trust is like a paper. Once it is crumpled, it can't be perfect again. Many times I've told the truth but you have it in your mind that I am fabricating stories and making up lies. It hurt each and every time you didn't believe me. I don't dispute anymore 'cause I don't see the point when I'd be rendered speechless anyway.
Maybe you will never bring yourself to believe me.. There is nothing I could do but hope that I'd be able to earn your trust again although chances are rare. I'd always be hoping.
2 comments:
have you ever thought why your mother stopped trusting you in the first place? its both ways, I dont think she would not trust her own daughter that she painfully gave birth to. Think about it.
Doesn't mean I don't deserve to be trusted again. You don't know anything.
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