I am still breathing

HAHA OMG, GUESS WHAT? :> MY NUFFY INCREASED 11 BUCKS TODAY! I check almost daily and the figures were so different today, gosh. I am so motivated to blog again, wtf. Hah hah. Yeh, I know I am shallow and superficial so deal with it. :P

Sooo, hmm.. I don't where should I start from, where should I start? Gah, whatever. Let's start from how did I celeberate and go through with NYE and all. Afterall, it is most due. *SHY* Heh heh.

It definitely wasn't the best NYE of my life or anything. I don't think it's even considered good enough. :/ It was a pretty rough (emotionally and mentally) night for me, I guess? I was kind of forced to spend NYE in KB. Bleah-ness x123456789!


The whole time I foolishly believed that we would be able to make it back to Miri and I would still be able to count down with my friends and Baby. I naively thought that it was possible and had such high hopes, y'know. So, when the harsh truth hit me, I was upset2max. There were lots of people around so I tried hard to contain myself and the tears but I gave up trying in the end. I sneaked into my cousin's room, latched up the door and silently wept to myself. You have no absolute idea how horribly sad I felt, ugh. I put on a facade for the rest of the night.


In between the night, we also got a call from Miri that my grandpa was admitted into hospital due to breathing difficulties and was in critical stage. His internal organs especially his lungs and heart were failing to function and the doctors told us to brace ourselves for bad news. Stranded in KB, we could only wonder and hope for the best.

Fireworks were lit when the clock struck twelve. I watched the display of fireworks glumly as this wasn't the NYE I had in mind and anticipated. Mum and I headed to Dad's Brunei home to sleep for the night after everything.


Had to wake up early the next day and rushed back to see my grandpa who was in hospital for the last time. :/

At the hospital: It was utterly dreadful to watch my grandpa lying on the hospital bed in coma and was still breathing heavily and difficultly. It was heartbreaking to watch my grandpa suffer in a way. I think he was fighting with life and death just so he could 'see' his children for the last time. Mum hugged her father tightly and called out to him plus all the while crying. At appoximately 8AM, my grandpa finally left us. His breathing gradually slowed down and completely stopped. There was no more beeping sounds from the device and no longer any signals or something indicating the sign of heartbeat and that was when we knew that he had finally let go and left us. He went to search and reunite with my deceased grandma or that's how the adults say it. All of us cried and teared knowing my grandpa had left us for good. He laid on the bed stagnantly but it was a comfort knowing he had left peacefully.


The funeral and stuff were carried out on the day itself and the day after. After everything was sorted out, life went on as usual just without my grandpa around anymore.


And yeah, that's about it. My NYE of 2009 and my first plus second day of 2010. :)