There was a blackout -__- that lasted for rougly two hours? Good God, I thought it was the end of the world. Everything went pitch-black in a matter of seconds. And to think it occured right after I stepped out of the bathroom. *snorts unhappily* I was walking around in my towel with my cellphone's light, y'know. Coincidentally, there was only one torch at home so I had to change in the dark. -__-;;
Besides that, my family and I had CANDLE LIGHT DINNER in the dark. It's pretty romantic, no? Hah hah. I mean, have you ever had candle light dinner with your family? *giggles*
Oh and do you know when can one self die of boredom? I TELL YOU WHEN! DURING A BLACKOUT! Har dee har har. I am serious luh, no joke please. I WAS BORED STIFF HUR!? Unlike Joan, Voonie and Adam.. THEY HAD A SECRET PARTY IN THE DARK! ('Cause they live nearby.) Sad thing is, I wasn't invited to their secret party. *frowns*
Somemore right, my area was like lagging or something. Everybody had their electric current already and my area was still as dark as the pit of a well. I felt so.. T__T.. EVEN THE IDUSTRIALS RIGHT OPPOSITE MY PLACE GOT ALREADY PLEASE?! I had to sit beside the window panes and stare at THEIR lights, wishing mine would be back on sooner. Tell me, is that not pathetic?
Conclusion: SCREW SESCO?!! _l_ EAT MY FISTSZXXX.
---
I decided to post up all my old posts and delete my old blogs. So yeah, this is gonna be one helluva long post.
DEC 10, 2006.
here she goes again.
Uh huh. Here she goes again. =__="
Yes darlings. New blog again. Hahah.
Actually all my blogs are more to like a diary ?
I think so too. Like a Journal. Hahah.
Yeaps, I also know i am very lame. >____>"
I don't feel like changing to fancy lyts leh.
Maybe sooner or later. I'll change my lyt. Hahah.
Umm, I'm trying to download dhis song called " instigator ".
Yeah luh. A very long ago deh song.
Now asking Sean to help me download leh.
Sean : walao eh
Sean : no user
Sean : how long tis song
Me : lol. o__O; idk oh.
Sean : since 1968 isit??
Me : Hahah. very funny meh.
Sike. No user how to download ah?
Oh & he's asking me to go to cyber cafe dhis Weds or Thursday.
Maybe Mcc dhat's opposite Toys World one. Hahah.
So i say i see first luh. Cause i got to ask my mwam woh.
She's dhe boss. Hahah. Even if i go, no money also no use.
Sobs. Yes, dhat's how my life is. Hahah.
Maybe I'm going out with Izaac, Jasmin & Joan.
I forgot when edi. Lol. Zac kept calling last night.
& i was not even listening whad's he saying.
I just " umm. yeah. oh. kay. ". Hahah.
So, never call me when i'm using dhe computer.
Oh, Mom just called. She ask me to go downstairs.
Open dhe fridge. Take dhe "PORK" out.
Put it into dhe freezer. Hahah.
So, Be Right Back. =___="
-
Urls && Quotes.
I'm back darlings. Lol.
I changed my url again. Lol.
From islitmuihthroatforu.blogspot.com to dhemindspeaks.blogspot.com.
I'll think of a new url. Hahah. It's just temporary one. >___>"
I found dhis site. Someone's blog actually with loads full of quotes.
Hahah. It's pretty cool. Really nice quotes thing. ^___^"
Example :
Read & Tell me whad do you think of it ? Hahah.
you know what I love most about us?
I love how comfortable we are with
each other. I love how we endlessly
make fun of each other, but never take
the teasing to heart. I absolutely adore
how when I turn away fomr you when
we're fighting you try to stay mad,
but then run after me. I love you and
everything about you. the look in your
eyes when we kiss or how you stay up
watching me sleep. I love how I can
call you anytime I need to and somehow
you never cease to make me laugh.
I love how you need me as much as I
need you. I love how you love me.
Fyi, I play SDO too. So, if whosoever plays SDO.
Please tell me so. I'm friend-less in SDO & i reek.
I need loads of practise. *sighh* Ulp.
-
Mapleleaf or Maplestory ?
Stoopid Mr.Moneybags. Hahah.Hahah. A snapshot of my aquila character. Im in Ludibrium dhen but now i'm back in Victoria Island. Training on Slimes. =__=" I'm a noobie. *sniffs*
Lol. I think I'll go maple leh. Currently lvl14. Got to be lvl15 by tonight. Remember to add me in aquila. Teehees. Tata~ !
I open my heart to let you in, but why did u lied? why are you so mean. You made me cried, you made me dried. Now i wish you could just die.
-
be dhe one for me please ?
1. Do you know where your dad is right now?
# umm, nawp. lol. i just know dhat he's not in miri. :x
2. Last time you hugged someone?
# umm. mwam. dhis morning.
3. What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
# uhh, idk. :/
4. What color is your watch?
# blue? dhe last time i'm seen with my watch is like months ago? hahah.
5. Do you like anyone?
# uh huh. loads actually. if i dun like u, awwh. too bad, so sad.
6. Are you close to your mom?
# umm, quite but sometimes i just really hate her. :/
7. Where do you work?
# no where. still schooling.
8. What are you listening to right now?
# dhe song in graceyeoh's blog.
9.what do you smell like?
# like me ? duuh.
10. What color are your pants?
# umm. with loads of skiing teddybears. :D i'm still wearing my pyjamas. hahah.
11. Closest thing to your left?
# dhe book i just bought ytd. trick of the mind.
12. What color is your bedroom flooring?
# brown.
13. Do you have a chair in your room?
# umm. DUH. if nt whad am i sitting on right nw ?
14. Time you were born?
# i dun know & never bothered to know so.
15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
# nawp.
16. What's your favorite number?
# umm. 21? my birthdate ? hahah.
17. Do you know someone named Lori?
# uhh, noo.
18. What color is your mom's hair?
# umm. she dyed her hair? kind of brown. sort of black. eeek. i can't tell.
19. Do you have a dog?
# i would want to have one !
20. Do you remember singing any songsas a kid?
# umm. yes. baby songs. hahah.
21. When was the last time you went swimming?
# not long ago.
22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
# just now.
23. Did you ever go to a camp as a child?
# noo. my childhood life is horrible.
24. Do you play an instrument?
# nawp. i don't think i'm musically talented.
25. Do you like fire?
# maybe.
26. Are you allergic to anything?
# not sure. hahah.
27. When was the last time you cried?
# uhh. idk. :x
29. Have you ever been to a spa?
# nope.
30. Did you take science all four years of high school?
# umm. i'm only in sec2 ? lol.
31. Do you like butterflies?
# yes, pretty butterflies but i like butterflies dhat's in my stomach when i think of him better. hahah.
33. What is one thing you miss about your past?
# umm. you ? him ? her ? dhem ? everyone. (:
34. Have you ever seen the schoolcounsellor?
# umm. nah. hahah. i'm a good girl. i swear. 0:)
35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
# oh my goodness. in a million years.
36. What is one thing you've learned about life?
# oh, life sucks. (:
37. Are you jealous of anyone?
# yes. her.
38. Is anyone jealous of you?
# i don't know.
39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
# no, thank god.
40. What does your dad call you?
# xin. hahah.
41. What does your mom call you?
# xin, baby. (:
42. What does you hair look like rightnow?
# oily & ugly. hahah. i haven't wash my hair for some time. hahah. i'm just kidding. *crosses fingers* lalalas.
43. Has a friend ever used you?
# hell yeah.
44. Has anyone recently told you that they like you?
# umm. yes ? lol.
45. What have you eaten today?
# lau shu fen. hahah.
46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
# straight.
47. What is your favorite movie?
# loads.
48. Who was the last person you drove with?
# i can't drive. i didn't even step out of my house yet today.
49. What are you looking forward to?
# umm. playing dota with a someone ? hahah. :/ i know i'm really pathetic but dhat's all i can think of right now. :x
50. How are you today?
# just fine. :l
-
maple dar. :D
I got a maple dardar in Aquila. ((: I don't know why evendhou I don't know him at all. I get dhis queasy weasy feeling in my body. :/ I miss him when he's not online. Maybe I'm just excited. (: Or maybe I'm just plain desperate. Lol.
Well, sometimes I think so too. *sighh* I always crave for dhe things i know i'll never have. I just will never get satisfied. I want more. Maybe I'm just greedy? *sobs* I guess so. I never fall for dhe guys dhat like me but i fall for guys dhat will NEVER fall for me. May i repeat? NEVER fall for ME. Sometimes i just feel so utterly defeated.
I'll be your thrill, the night will go on. My little windmill.
--
DEC 11, 2006.
it's more dhan just a dream.
I dreamt about Reuben. It's more dhan just a dream. It's a NIGHTMARE. I mean, I didn't just dreamt about him only. Joan && Vivian's in dhe dream too. :x Lol. If i'm not wrong, dhe dream's about Reuben liking Joan && not me dhat made me HATE Joan && him. Ouch. Ohkay, DISLIKE dhem. Lol. I have no idea why. I was with Vivian all dhe time in dhe dream. ((: She's like a really loyal buddy. Hahah.
Idk why, dhis is dhe second time i dreamt about Joan stealing dhe guy i like. If i didn't remember wrongly, dhe first time it was Royce. When I'm with Royce already though. Lol. =___= I mean she's my bestfriend. && dhat means i don't trust her right? Thinking dhat my bestfriend will steal my boyfriend from me? Umm, I guess so but it's a dream? I didn't even know i'm gonna have a dream like dhat. =___= It's not my fault. Ohkay? BLAHS!
Oh, I've been so busy mapling. I'm starting to get addicted again. :x eeeps. Lol. Maple is fun. (:
i never stopped loving you, i just stopped showing it. (:
much loves.
xin.
--
DEC 12, 2006.
i think i think too much.
If i'm going to die tonight. Will anyone miss me at all?
If i just let tears fall. Will anyone care at all?
If i just picked up a knife & stabbed it into my heart. Will anyone hear my screams as i am cutting myself apart?
Or maybe dhat’s a bad way to go. Maybe dhere is a easier way to die.
Should i just put a gun to my head? Would anyone even miss me if i'm dead?
Maybe i should just make tonight my last night.
Say goodbye to dhe world as i slowly die.
*sighh* Life sucks. I'm tired of living on like dhis. I'm not a toy for people to play around. I too, have feelings. I too, Breathe to live. *sobs* But nooooo, Dhey don't even bloody hell care how do i feel. Dhey don't even bother to care. *sniffs* I hate life. I want to die.
-
i miss him so bad.
I'm currently missing someone. I just wish he could talk a lil more just dhan dhat. I should have told him dhat I'm dhere but I didn't because i thought it's fun but it's not at all. And now, I'm not even sure am I able to talk to him again. *sighh* I'm so confused. :x I wonder are all dhose lies? Or just dhe truth. Maybe she's lying, dhen again. I could be wrong. Gah. I couldn't tell truth && lies apart. Why must it be so complicated? Lol.
Hackers must die ! D:
Lol. I'm very pathetic && full of emotion. If you don't like it, you can just close dhis window. Please && Thank you. (:
-
dhe answers to dhose questions.
Me && Her conversation.
Joan : y do u always said ur life sucks?
Me : CAUSE IT DOES.
Me : i couldn't take it anymore.
Joan :i use to think tat way
Joan : but now i dun
Joan : I haf God
Joan : i knw i sound a lil weird n stupid
Joan : but its true
Me : BUT GOD JUST TREATS ME LIKE CRAP !
Me : did he even notice me so.
Joan : cause u didnt even beliving in him
Joan : well, he does notice u
Me : who said so ?
Joan : not only u, but everyone else
Joan : duh.. i knw.. i'm a christian
Me : lol.
Me : you're not god.
Joan : i read bible
Me : if not.
Me : why won't God just take my breath away ?
Me : I WANT TO DIE !
Me :I WISH TO DIE !
Me : HE NEVER GRANT ME DHAT WISH !
Me : just dhat very ONE wish.
Joan : he want u to live, must haf reason
&& dhe others. Changed topic. Hahah. xO
Day After Day. Month To Month. Year By Year.
&& I'm turning fifteen next year. :'(
I'm getting older. No more youth. )):
-
regrets regrets regrets.
I regret somehow and now dhere's no way back.
I lost contact with my maple boyfriend aka sindie. *sniffs* I heard his account got hacked but i don't know is it real anod. *sighh* I feel sorry for him dhou.
But anyways, I got a new boyfriend. Lol. He's sort of a really good maple friend. (: He's a mushmom. Teeehees. Want to see his picture ? Nerdish. 8) but yet cute. x3.
dardar. i told you he's cute. i made him take off his hat. *evil laughters* i'm so evil. x3.
-
oh-so-flattering && frustrating. ]:
Gawd, i'm flattered when blah blah blah yada yada yada. Hahah. I don't want to let dhe whole world know, ohkay? Lol. Ask me. Well, i'm not letting anyone know unless you're my goodfriend or something. Hahah. Joan knows so. ((: We share our secrets. Isn't dhat nice? Hahah. At least, I know i won't go crack cause i have someone to pour out my feelings to someone right? *sighh*
I pity Joan. She must be so CRUSHED by her crush. Lmfao. I know how she felt so cause i felt dhe same before. I can't imagine so. I mean i've never heard or seen Joan crushing on someone so bad. And dhis is dhe very first. Her heart must be shattered into a million pieces. I bet it's bleeding right at dhis very moment too. No wonder her personal message is like so depressing? Lol. It's about whad she wished under a falling star but he fell into someone elses arms. Lol. Love's unfair && selfish. ((: We just gotta live with it. Don't waste time on someone dhats not worth it. If he doesn't likes you back. Deal with it and move on. Evendhou it's not easy to but we still got to. I bet her crush's blind or something. Or maybe color blind. Lol. Why couldn't he tell dhat dhere's a really great girl right infront of him waiting for him to open his mouth and say dhose three words? I can't believe dhat he couldn't even notice so dhat a girl is waiting for him and shouting dhat she is ready to jump into his arms. Gosh, or maybe he's just deaf too. :/
Yay, i finally found Nicole Marcus's aka Reuben's sister's friendster. :D Hurrah! Thanks to Sean. Found it from his friendster. (: Hahah. Thanks a bunch, Sean. Mwah. <3
--
DEC 13, 2006.
hmmph.
Urgh, about friendster. My e-xiin@hotmail.com account is full but loads of peeps keep adding dhat account. Why won't dhey add my other account? mango.wango-@hotmail.com? pfft.
Busy mapling lately, dhere's a patch now. So, I have time to blog. Nadzir gave me a cape right? It's an Icarus cape, dhe stats super sweet. Now he wants it back. =__= Lol. Why? Cause of Reuben. He need to sell to sponsor Reuben. pfft. Hahah. So evil one. :/
humans love to fall in love, and if dhey do, dheir minds are set in confusion !
Viv's msn name. It's so goddamn true ! Isn't it? Gawd. O__O!
-
&& she cried for him but he never knows so.
I'm chatting with Renjie about his love life and suddenly it reminds me of Adam Chin. He's dhe very first guy dhat I ever cried over cause he's dhe very first guy dhat i ever loved before. *sighh* To think about when he's got a girlfriend aka Julia. When i heard dhe news, my heart was like *cracking* shattered into a million fcking pieces. I don't even feel like talking about or seeing him anymore. I just wish i could dissapear from dhis world or maybe he could dissapear. I wish i never met him at all. Since dhen i told myself to get over him ! If he doesn't like you back, it's his lost. Lol. And i found out dhat it's not dhat easy at all. To forget a guy you loved so deep, is not easy at all. It actually hurts bad. I couldn't get him out of my mind. Everytime i think of him, I picture him with her and I'm all alone, so lonely. *sigh* Love stinks. I hate my love life since dhen. Not just my love life, I hate my life && myself. Why did i ever fall for him. I kept thinking. I'm like dhe most pathetic girl in dhe whole wide world. ((: BLAHS! Seriously, I am. :/
And now when i think about it's all worth it after all. Right? At least i grew up a lil. Hahah.
Oh oh, I can play maple now. Toodles peeps. (: Remember to leave me comments. Mwah. <3
-
pfft. stupid peeps in maple.
Sometimes I dislike dhose maplers who's so bossy & all. Geez, dhey should go get a grip or something like dhey own maple or something. Fck lah. Scold me oh. Who started first hor? Gawd.
& guess whad i found out? Sindie never got hacked after all. It's all lies made up by my liar maple jie. Hmmph. I bet she just really wants Sindie. Geeez, now i call her liar jie jie. Maybe tommorow when she online I'll go ask her why did she lie to me about Sindie. Wanted to today but she kept dc-ing. =__= I confessed to Sindie dhat i got a boyfriend && he took it just like dhat. He said good luck to me & my new boyfriend too. *sniffs* Gosh.
I went strolling around with Kian today. (: Hahah. Kian's a really nice guy. (: He's like my didi. Teehees. I got a maple family. (: Yes, a daddy, a mwammy, two lil brothers? Yepp. Hahah. We took loads of pictures. I love my family truckloads. <3>:) Reuben's catching up on me. pfft. He's currently Lvl15. Urgh.
I got to go now. )): *sobs* toodles darlings. <3
--
DEC 14, 2006.
she makes me wanna puke.
Urgh, i uploaded new picture to my friendster and I'm looking at my pictures and replying my picture comments. Yes, I saw Regnez. So, I click loh. She's got new picture. Makes me wanna puke only. Idk why. When i see her picture or whadsoever makes me wanna puke. *anger* muahahah.
Chatting with Shereen. Regnez said she's 170cm tall? Believe? My ass lah. She's so fake. I mean real fake. Geeez. She brags too. Reading dhose testimonials makes me wanna puke even more. She owns a saloon. As if ! My dad owns her. Wahahah ! I can brag too. x3. Hahah. She's such a wannabe. Hmmph.
&& all i wanted was to tell you all my secrets but you became one.
she makes me wanna puke.
-
life ish black&&white. (:
Lalalas~ I'm bored stiff. :/ *sighh* Bored Bored Bored. No wait. I've got Maple. Maple baby, here i come ! Mummy's coming. Don't worry. Hahah. ((: Toodles peeps~ !
I love you. Don't ever fucking question dhat.
--
DEC 15, 2006.
im a girl who doesn't know her limits. (:
Umm, why must dhey keep adding my FULL account. Ughh, why can't dhey just add my new one? *piff* I know why cause dhey're dumb. Yes, dumb. Get it? Dumb ass. My e-xiin@hotmail.com account is full ! Can't you all read. *piff* Lalalas~ Dumb dumb dumb. xPP~
I’m in love for the first time.
Don’t you know it’s gonna last.
It’s a love that lasts forever,
It’s a love that had no past.
"Don't Let Me Down" The Beatles
--
DEC 16, 2006.
im devastated.
):
waiting was never something i was good at, but you're dhe only one dhat i'm willing to try it for.
-
i wish i just could forget u as easily as u have forgotten me.
Love is patient;
Love is kind and envies no one.
Love is never boastful,
nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish,
not quick to take offence.
Love keeps no score of wrongs;
does not gloat over other men's sins,
but delights in the truth.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and its endurance.
Love will never come to an end.
--
DEC 17, 2006.
im fading awae.
Gosh, I just got back from breakfast. Stupid mom. Woke me up ! So early ! 8o'clock in dhe morning leh. *piff* I slept at 1o'clock. Seven freaking hours only. I'm so tireeeed. *sighh* Urgh.
-
brendan is back back back.
Brendan's back. Went to Berkenu for lunch with Uncle ChinHin, Auntie Maggie, Brendan & Grandma Man. I met Aaron Yung dhere. Such a conincidence. Hahah.
In dhe afternoon, went to cyber with Brendan, Kiat & Jim. I saw Dickson at Mcc. Hahah. Mcc's full & packed. So, we went to Progress. Played Dota. Fun. (: Pokemon World. Hahah.
I'll talk about it more some other time, but now i got to go take my bath. I haven't bath dhe whole day. Ughh. Tata ~
Much loves.
xin.
--
DEC 18, 2006.
BIBU BIBU.
lalalas.
--
DEC 19, 2006.
friendster & myspace. i'd choose friendster.
I changed dhe music in my friendster page. (:
--
DEC 20, 2006.
back to ytd.
I hope it won't rain tonight. We wanted to go to dhe fair yesterday night, but God must really hate me. :/ It RAINED. Pfft. Sighh. Oops. I gtg. Tuition.
-
u hold dhe key to my heart. (:
Hmm, my faithful readers must be wondering whad happened to all my posts? I saved dhem as drafts. Idk why. I just get a lil annoyed when I see my posts dhere. I'll post dhem up once again, But not now. :x Sorry peeps. Really sorry. Teeheees.
A new lyt btw. (: Teeheees. It's pretty. I love it.
Pamper her. Love her. (:
Sorry peeps. I'm off to maple again. Tata~ Muahs. <3
P/s : I don't know how many peeps read my blog. Maybe none at all. :/ Hahah. Who cares?! As long as I'm happy. That's enough right? right? Yuppers. (:
-
&& dhe world stopped spinning.
I just got home from dhe fair. I was pretty excited. For dhe first time, I feel so grown up cause i finally can go out without parents but with friends alone. Without babysitters or whadsoever. At night again. Gee, I'm so touched. (: Uh huh, I went to dhe fair with Jerome, Brandon, Joan & Izaac. It's a BLAST! Well, sort of. Hahah. Just a few & It made me wanna puke. it made me so sick. :/ Not just me dhou. Jerome, Izaac, Brandon & Joan too. It's so sad Jasmin can't make it. ): All dhe rides, after you come down. DIZZY-NESS! & seriously, it makes you feel like puking. But I'm strong. Little things won't make me puke. Not like Jerome, Izaac & Joan. You three are so uber weak. Izaac didn't vomit but you should look at his face ! It turned green. So did Jerome's. Hahah. Truthful advice. Don't go dhere with a full stomach like Izaac did. Hahah. He's so pathetic. =__= It's was kind of fun dhou. After dhat, It rained ! We wanted to go onto dhe Ferris Wheel. T__T But anyways, we ran to Bouleavard. All dhe shoppes were closing. :/ We went to KFC. I'm hungraaaay. Order some food. Jerome called his mom. You shouldn't listen to how does he speaks to his MOM. He's like where the fuck are you? Me & Joan are like OMFG. Hahah. He's so rude. :/ Rude rude rude-ness much. :/ Hahah. But still it's none of our business right? Hahah. After eating, Izaac's sister came at pick us up. (: Teehees. Ehmygawd, when I think about dhat ride. It makes me sick. :/ Ughh. We're like screaming & scolding foul languages. Hahah. I'm like SHIT SHIT SHIT! OH MY FUCKING HOLY SHIT GOD! Hahah. Yes, I know. It's not very elegant or graceful or whadsoever for a girl to scold so much bad words. :x But who dhe fucking hell care right? Definitely not me, I know. (: Hahah. Oh Oh Oh ! & Guess whad?! I saw someone dhat i will never expect to see him/her. I saw Reuben's girlfriend, Rose. Hahah. Jerome said she's hot. I didn't look at her very clearly. She's ohkay, I guess. Quite hot, I suppose. Hahah. She's better looking dhan me. (: Jerome said she's a playgirl and it's unbelievable dhat she and Reuben could last for so long. Hahah. One playgirl, one playboy dhen whad if you think about it, dhey're meant for each other. Gosh. Hahah.
*GASP* And dhis morning, Nail ( It's a guy. I like calling him Nail cause his chinese name is Nail. It's way much easier too. [: ) told me dhat I can go check out which class I'm going by next week. *GASP* I want to go to morning class. I MUST go to morning class. It's a MUST. A very very MUST. Thinking about it makes me wanna die. :/ *sighh* I hope things will just work out for once. If i go to afternoon session again. I swear I'll slit my wrist. *crosses fingers* It's like 1% out of 100% for to me to go to morning class. *sighh* If i didn't get into morning. Someone please do me a favour? SHOOT ME IN DHE HEAD. I don't feel like living anymore. It'll be like dhe end of my life. :x God must really hate me. *sobs* Geee, I regret. Why didn't I study harder? Why didn't I ?! Why am I stupid? God, TELL ME WHY?! Why do you treat me like crap? WHY WHY WHY?! You could just take my breath away cause I don't fucking feel like braething anymore. :x I want to die ! Ohkay, I got to calm myself down. :x Change subject. Please & Thank you.
Hmm. I guess i ran out of words. So, dhat's buhbye? Yuppers. Toodles peeps. (:
P/s : Now I'm fucking sore. Lols. Tired again. Too much shouting, screaming & I think I used up too much energy. Hahah. But it was worth it after all. Air force is so fucking exciting. Now Jerome is sick. Hahah. Brandon just messaged me. =__= They're so weak. Hahah.
-
it really is driving me nuts. i hate dhis feeling i haf for u.
Gosh, now I really am devastated. Suddenly, I feel so miserable. I kept picturing him & her, dhe both of dhem together. -editted-. I just feel so. Well, I'm not very sure myself actually. Just all of a sudden, I feel somehow crushed? Maybe or maybe not. *sighh* I just wish I could tell him about my secrets but nuuu. He became one. Isn't dhat just awful? Keeping all dhose words you feel like saying all inside. I really will turn crazy if i keep holding dhem in. Him standing right infront of you & knowing dhat you can't have him. *sighh* I want to scream out loud. Where nobody can hear at all. *sighh*
Santa, if u can hear me. Will you make my dream come true? I guess you won't cause I've been a very bad girl. *sobs* I hate my life & myself. Why am I such a bitch? Someone please slap me. Please wake me up. But sometimes it's better to dream dhan to wake up cause reality hurts more. Ohkay, cut it with dhe emo-ness. Hahah.
Is love really dhat beautiful? Love is not pretty.
They're not in a perfect shape, they're not all in pretty red satin.
They're ridged, dirty, torned and umm. Covered in coffee stains.
As you love, your love will get ripped, torned and dirty.
But you'll definitely sew it back and wash back clean dhe best as you can.
Everytime leove gets torned, you will do your best and mend dhat injury right?
Since it's your love and you know how it's dhe most beautiful thing in dh world.
and you will love it more as time passes by, not for its looks but for its real beauty inside.
love is bullshit. (:
I don't want a lot for Christmas.
There is just one thing I need.
I don't care about the presents.
Underneath the Christmas tree.
I just want you for my own.
More than you could ever known.
Make my wish come true.
All I want for Christmas is you.
That's all i want for Christmas. Santa, can you hear me?
--
DEC 21, 2006.
people come & go.
Joan's going to KL tommorow. (: Joan's leaving me to go to KL. *sniffs* Just a vacation. Hahah. I hope she buys me stuffs. :D Like chocolate? Pretty clothes? & etc etc. Joan, if you don't? Don't come back ! /gg *evil laughters* If you do & no presents for me? You better watch out. I may stab you with a knife when you're not looking. *evil grins*
Hairul's going to Thailand. I think it's just a vacation too. (: For new year & Christmas. He's so manly. *sarcasm* Hahah. Hairul, becareful of "aquas". Hahah. I heard dhat Thailand is packed with "aquas". I've never been dhere. So, Idk. Hahah.
They sure got dhe nerves to just leave me here attending tuition classes. Pfft. Hahah.
I got to go. To Lala-land. My fingers & Hands are sore. :x & I'm freaking tired. Toodles.
-
omfg. dhat's so true. :x
Hello peeps. (: I'm really bored right now. Maybe I'll go on maple later. Teehees. Ivy's lvl49 already. Ohmygawd right? She lvls fast. :/ Pro. Hahah. Hmm.
I found dhis website is so true. OMFG.
Must be full complete names dhou. :x
click here.
Go & check it out. It's so very true.
Got dhis website from graceyeoh.
Is it lust or true love? NoOne knows. (:
-
i have perfect eyesight.
Boohoo, I got to go to bed early tonight. Like right at dhis moment. Need to go to Columbia to go check my eyes. Lol. What do you call it already ah? Eye Specialist or something like that. Hahah. I'm gonna be blind soon. Yay. I hope. (: Even better, I'm gonna die soon. Hurray. Hahah.
I guess Joan's at dhe airport or maybe in dhe plane right now. Lol. I'm not sure about Hairul dhou.
Gee, I want to add a tagboard or something but there's no space for it. No comments? Yes. *sobs*
Lalalas, toodles. (:
--
DEC 22, 2006.
to the plank.. aye.
Hahah. Just got back from the hospital. My grandpa went for eye surgery. His left eye is bandaged. Hahah. I saw a really cute doctor ?! I didn't see dhe face. Just half, He's with his mask thing. He's cute & hawt. I believe in my own eyesight cause this morning went i went to check. The doctor said i got perfect eyesight. I can even read smaller words. Hahah.
Well, I got to go now. Going to granpa's for dinner. Gathering. (: Toodles darlings.
--
DEC 23, 2006.
Reuben & Me. (:
Gee, I hate myself. I'm so stupid. :'( I hate my mom & my brother. I hate everyone around me.
In the morning, I find myself awake. I don't seem real. I feel like I'm a fake. Hiding from myself. I don't know where I went wrong. All these shadows I see, are the ones I forgot. Now don't hide, eventhough I must. The shadows will get you lost. In the lane of giving up.
Btw, Reuben's leaving soon. National service. Bwahahahs. He's gonna be bald. Can't wait. *evil grins* He's gonna be in jail for quite some time eh? Hahah.
I don't want the world to see me cause i don't think they'd understand.
-
it shouldn't be hurting so much. i shouldn't be feeling like dhat.
Heart beating.
Lungs breathing.
Death waking.
Life falling.
We all are a piece of this puzzle.
That we call life.
Death may wake.
Life may fall.
And this puzzle may be hard to solve.
But we’ve got to keep trying.
If it’s the last thing we do.
So keep letting your heart beat.
Keep letting your lungs breathe.
And keep on trying.
Your trying.
Will someday pay off.
Life's a puzzle. I wonder what if i don't feel like letting my heart beat? What if I don't want to breathe anymore. Please take my breath away cause I don't feel like living in this living hell anymore. Life's a bitch. Love is bullshit. *sighh*
-
i love love love k-dramas.
I'm currently reading this story aboout a girl called Mina (for short actually) . Her life's a tragedy. It's so friggen sad that it made me cry. It's so touching. I can't help it. I know this kind of stuff will never happen in reality. ):
Mina is writing her story as her life is slowly fading away. It's like a diary. A very sad story.
& the ending is "True love never has an ending". The ending is that the girl died in the guy's arms. Duh. Hahah. There's two ending actually. This is the real ending. (:
--
DEC 24, 2006.
gee. i like it like that.
Yeay, my mom didn't rush me today. No tuitions, Stayed home. Yay. I feel so relieved. My everyday life's so stressful. Hahah. I'm talking so bull. So what? BLAHS! Sian ah me. I don't feel like blogging much. I'll just make it short & simple. My life sucks. (:
I stare up at the ceiling.
My body resting on my bed.
My head laying on my pillow.
I think of you.
Your face comes into my mind.
And i cant stop thinking about your face.
I wonder what are you thinking.
Wondering if theres a me and you.
I lie there motionless.
A thought comes into my mind.
How you will always be in my heart.
I repeat those words: I love you.
Sike, I made this out of scratch. :/ *sighh*
-
couting down to x'mas. (:
Today's Christmas eve. Everyone's out partying their heads off except me. 30minutes more till Christmas. :D I should be happy right? But why am I feeling so blue. Here I am pouring my feelings&thoughts all alone. ]: I've been thinking lately. What is the meaning of life. I mean my life's meaningless. Maybe some of you will just think that I'm desperate or something, but I feel sort of empty inside right now. I don't know what's love. I guess I'm too young to understand what's the true meaning of love & life. Ahhh, I can't stand it. It's starting to roll down my cheeks. It's starting to pour.
Ohkay, really. Control. [: Now continue where was I. Idk what's love. Idk who do I really like now. I'm so confused with my feelings. Idk do I like him anot? Do I? Anyone, can you please answer my question? I guess not. I like him just as a friend. I know so, but why when I see other people talking to him or something. I feel jealousy in my body. If i don't like him. Why will I feel jealous or something? It's a feeling that I can't describe with words. Is he the one for me? NoOne knows. I kept lying to myself & hiding from my heart. I know I can't hide from my feelings. Somehow it feels like this girl standing infront of the mirror is not her anymore. I can't even understand myself. I don't know what's with me. I need some answers here. I am dying. I can't help dreaming. I don't feel like waking up. I don't want to face reality. && Cinderella didn't see this one coming. ]:
& you know what? Actually, I didn't expect for me & Royce (who turned out to be an ex now) to break so fast. I thought we'll at least last till next year. But I'm wrong. I broke up with him. Not him but me. If you want it to be harsh. Lets say I dumped him. Lol. I thought I love him, then again I'm wrong. Maybe I did, but I just won't admit it. Again, I'm confused with myself & my feelings. I'm so complicated. *sighh*
p/s: Maple lvl27 already. (: Kept dying. Like 10times today. :x
Those three words are said too much, but not enough.
--
DEC 25, 2006.
time flies.
Gee, It's Christmas already. & yesterday was like the last day of school. Gosh, time really does fly. Lol. I don't know why but my life passes like nothing really matters anymore. I don't even know what did I do during this holidays. I didn't make use of it. *GASP* PMR next year. I'm gonna die. Suffer. *doom* I can feel the pain already. Hahah.
btw, MERRY X'MAS PEEPS!
tommorow will be a better day. :D
you better bare that in mind. (:
kisses to my bitches, hugs to my thugs.
I LOVE PEEPS THAT PAMPER ME. (:
p/s: I forgotten to blog about it the other day. Well, Here's about it. I got blush already. Hurray. Thanks loads to Oreo. He gave me as for Christmas. He's such a great guy. (: Oreo, if you're reading this. I meant it. (: MUAHS. *hugs&kisses*
-
she's just that girl next door.
Type what you'll say when somebody says these phrases to you.
1. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THAT?
OH, it's not like it's your first day knowing me.
2. I JUST REALISED NOW THAT I LOVE YOU?
Oh really? Guess what? I don't love you. [:
3. LEAVE HIM/HER . YOU'LL BE MUCH MORE HAPPY WITH ME.
I beg your pardon? Seriously, I'm not seeing anybody now.
4.COME ON. SMILE. YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOU DO THAT.
What's in it for me? Even if I smile, it's still fake anyways.
5. PLEASE DO MY MATH HOMEWORK TOO.
Go get a blardy hell life. I hate using my brain.
6. I M SO BLESSED TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
Are you sure? Cause I don't think so.
7. WHY DOES MONDAY COME BEFORE TUESDAY?
Don't ask me. Ask the person who made all this shit out.
8. I HAVE TWO TICKETS TO THE LINKIN PARK CONCERT. WANNA COME WITH ME?
Oh grool, why not. Give me both of the tickets & I'll be having truckloads of fun with my other friend but not you. [:
9. YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST SPECIAL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. DID YOU NOE THAT?
Gee, please don't talk crap infront of me.
10. I THINK I M FALLING FOR YOU.I THINK I'M CRAVING FOR YOU!
Oh sorry, I don't feel like being in a relationship now. Find someone else to crave over.
11. I CAN'T SMILE WITHOUT YOU.
Well, don't then. Nobody's stopping you.
12. THANK YOU FOR EVEYTHING BUT U'RE JUST AREN'T HER.
Do I know you?
13. WHAT'S UR MOBILE NUMBER?
Depends. Are you IT ?
14. CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE???
Oh gosh, I'm so lost. Where am I now?
16. MAY I ESCORT YOU?
Nah, I know my way home. :D Thanks anyway.
17.DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM/HER TILL NOW?
I don't know.
18. YOU WERE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING I WANTED.
I know cause you're mine too.
19. WHEN WILL I GET UR SWEET EYES?
Just dream on, maybe you will. [:
--
DEC 26, 2006.
moodless.
Geez, A few minutes ago. I'm still so superbly hyper, but all of a sudden. I read something. My mood 360% changed. Somehow I think she's such a bitch. I feel like scolding her if only i can. She's a faggot. A faggot bitch. I'll stop for now. I'm afraid I'll blab it all out. Some things are better not to let the world know. Keep it all inside deep in your heart. [: & somethings are better to share with a someone that you truly trust. If not someday, you'll go crazy.
Oh, what the fuck. I can't stand it. akjfjkashfljashf You bitch. You gloms people's boyfriends. Get a grip. What's wrong with you?! Which of my bloody words you can't bloody hell understand? WTF. Eventhough I said I don't blah blah blah that someone, doesn't mean you can go BLAHS with that someone. Maybe you're just being nice, but wtf. Why that someone? I don't see you treating me so nicely. sdhdkakjdafhasfaskfh Urgh. Moodswings much? Yes, I guess so.
Sorry, I just can't hold it all it. Somehow I need to express it out right? LOL. I couldn't take it anymore. ]:
I love you. I waited & waited. Looks like there's no hope anymore. I'm just hopelessly in love with you. I'm helpless. I've accepted the fact that I'm not mature enough to know what's love.
--
DEC 27, 2006.
life isn't that bad after all. (:
I have good news & bad news. Hmm, I'll talk about the good news first.
The goodnews is I GOT IN TO MORNING SESSION! WOOTS. HELL YEAH! Izaac went to school & see this morning. 3T4, my future class. :D I wonder who's gonna sit beside me. Some cute guy, I hope. Hahah. Jkjk. Someone that I could copy answers from. :D Hahah. Jkjk. Idk lah. ;x
& the badnews is Izaac didn't. =__= Still in 3T5. Lol. He's gonna apply though.
I thought I'll never go to morning, but I did. Oh what the heck. :D I'm so effin happy. I was like jumping all around. Shouting & all those. Hahah. Umm, back to maple. I smell war. :D FUN~
--
DEC 28, 2006.
for the love of my feet.
Let’s face it. All girls love shoes even if they aren’t girly enough to say it. Lol. I found this pair of flats from the internet, but i've forgotten the website. I forgot to bookmarked the website. *sobs* Want to take a look at it? Hold on. There you go.
I told you it's pretty. It's pretty right? Say it's pretty! Lol. Yes, say it! Muahahah. Gawd, It's so pretty. Polka dotty too. *drools* Plus, I need to get a pair of shoes like this too. :x I want it, badly! For the love of my feet, someone buy me this pair of shoes! Lol.
-
ROFLMFAOOMG.
Omg, My house flood. The whole area actually. Woots. Shuang. (: It's been raining non stop. Gawd, & I mean non stop since this afternoon. Grr, somehow it's getting really annoying. I mean all wet. Ughh.
Oh yeah, guess what?! Joan said she found out that I'm not gonna be in Mac Dougall next year with her. Boohoo, cause I'm morning & she's afternoon. )):
--
DEC 29, 2006.
it feels good to be back in school. (:
I just got home from school. Well, sort of. I went to go check out which class am I going to & all those. Finally confirmed so. I'm going to 3T4. WOOTS. Unfortunately, Vanessa is in the same class with me. Boohoo, my worst nightmare ever. She's a fcuking bossy bitch. Lol. Met Vivien just now & Haizul. Hahah. *sighh* Since Ivy's coming to St.co next year. So, I looked for her name too, but no sign of her name at all. It keeps me wondering. Hmm. Hahah. Oh well. [: All I need to know is that i'm going into morning session. Yay. I can't believe this is happening. Life ain't that bad after all.
Maple is currently under maintenance. *sighh* Lalalas. Bored.
you can say anything about me, as you please.
but i am what i am.
& that's something you can never be. [:
--
DEC 31, 2006.
gila maple.
Lvl31 cleric. Woots~ Hahah, my dear online ytd. He bought me a hair pin. [:
Umm, Back to maple.
--
JAN 1, 2007.
why must life be so full of bullshit?
Geez, Idk why. I just feel really down. Today actually.
Idk why. *sighh* I just feel like having a person that I can lean on, a person that I can confide to, a person that really understands me & what i'm thinking 24seven. *sighh*
Cut the crap, not in the mood to bullshit. Bye.
Btw, I'm thinking of making a guild. Hahah, when i have the money or you call it "mesos" in maplestory. The guild name will be "TRUTHandLIES". I know it's sort of lame but so what?! Teehees, I couldn't stand it. I want to. Blehhs.
--
JAN 3, 2007.
it maybe a starting, but to me it's like the end.
*sighh* Today's the first day of school. I woke up early to blog since I didn't blog last night. *sigh* I really still can't face the facts that I need to wake up early everyday to go to school and have a three an a half hour tuition class in the afternoon. The holidays are over, so is my maple days? I suppose so. *sobs* But maybe I'll still on. Hahah. I can't blardy login msn & the internet line is so freaking slow. Sometimes it makes me feel like whacking the computer. Hahah.
I don't know what's got into me last night, but I'm just really really depressed. Friggen sad. I feel so devastated that made tears streaming down my face for no reason. Or maybe there is a reason. I'm not very sure myself. Yes, I am like that. I am that blardy pathetic. [:
Oops, I gotta go now. Take my shower, get dress, breakfast then up up & away. Muahs. <3
But I'll definitely blog about my first day after school or at night. [: If the internet connection is not that slow. Ugh.
-
heck loads of crap.
*sigh* First day of school, I got lectured, sort of by Mr. Ong. My malay teacher also the school guru dicipline. Hahah. Am I good or what eh? :O Hahah. Cause of my nails, nametag & daydreaming in class. Hahah. At least, he remembers my name. :D
Tuition is sucky. Freezing, hungry & lonely. ]]: *sobs*
Just quarrelled (paiseh, idk hw to spell) with my mom. I hate her! I hate myself! I hate life! Ohkay, that fight made me cry. :/ I'm really really depressed right now. Leave me alone!
--
JAN 6, 2007.
bring me closer to my dream.
Seems like yesterday I was in form2. Time goes like a shot, I'm already in Form3 now, & to me it's the year of horror. Yes, i'm gonna face this stupid useless exam called "PMR" which i don't know what it stands for. Lol. I am very sure this year I will be very busy with exams, homeworks, sports, co-curriculum, projects & etc etc. All I know is that I am going to suffer alot. :/ Then I have to manage & use my time properly. *sighh* & I waste time like heck! I am usually not organized! Ahhh!
I went to sign up for my gerko aka co-curriculums today. I joined Leo Club, Archery & PBSM. Hahah. I must, right? Hmmph. I think I won't turn up at all cause I got stupid tuitions.
& I got off the phone with Joan just now. I was in the toilet. Hahah. Multi-tasking. Hahah! Kidding. She told me Eunice's brand new phone got "rampas". Paiseh, suddenly I forgot what's the word again. I mean it's only the third day of school! Gee, she's so .. I mean, she can't get it back anymore. She got "rampas"-ed before. So, this will be the second time & there's always no second chances. *sighh* They're making it so confusing. I'm never ever gonna bring my cellphone to school again! I've learnt my lesson! Never ever! Ah ah! I want to hold my cellphone forever & that's for sure. If I get my phone "rampas"-ed again. I can only take it back on the last day of Form5. Hmm, & that will be like two years later! No way! I learn from my mistakes. I'm more mature than before. [: I'm proud of myself. Hahah.
p/s: I am getting uglier & nerdier. :/ *sobs*
I gotta go now. I need to sleep! Till that then.
-
puhlease, it's driving me crazy.
I will be fine. Uh huh, yes I will. Ahh! I can't take it anymore. It's driving me nuts. ]]: *sobs* I'm in love with you. Ahh! This can't be happening! It must not! :'( I couln't tell why am I feeling like this. I can't tell you the answer why because I myself don't know too.
you don't know how much i feel screaming those three words, but i can't.
i want you to know that i love you, but i never get to have the guts to tell you.
&& it's driving me nuts.
ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny & you can't move on eventhough you try
-
not a heart. a heart can be broken.
Guess what?! You'll never guess so. Nadzir asked me what if he ask me to be his girlfriend what will i say? I said : hmm, i don't feel like being in a relationship? Hahah. That he was just joking. He's in one already. With Carolyn already. [:
Laughter is timeless;
Imagination has no age;
Dreams are forever.
--
JAN 8, 2007.
went to the dumpsters.
Oh today's such a great day. NOT! It's my first assembly in morning session & is it hell long ! Geez, five different teachers with different speeches. Can you imagine one at least took half an hour? I'm like standing there with everyone. It's so tiring and my legs are all sore & in addition, the "P" thing. Hahah, fortunately I don't have backache & tummyache. [: But WinHui does. Poor her. Stand there so long & suffer the pain.
Oh, & we got a spotcheck. I got the jackpot ! I'm so lucky ! I need to stayback just because I'm wearing blardy ankle socks & my so called "sportshoes". It's WHITE. Gawd. Natalie & WinHui too. WinHui's earrings got caught too. Natalie is like all so grumphy. Blahblahblah. Hahah. We're so gonna get demerid. ]]: Noone comfort me wan? *sobs* I'm evolving into a nerdy geek. [: Hahah. Long socks, Tied up hair neatly, Study hard & NOT breaking rules. [: It's so abnormal. For me acutally. Hahah. Back in afternoon, I'm all so crazy & spastic. But not anymore. That kind of life is over! Unless i want to get kicked out of school, I can continue so. [[: Hahah. *sigh*
I'm still feeling really sad. Idk why. It shouldn't be feeling this way actually.
--
JAN 14, 2007.
bad hair day.
so much had happened. including today ! bad hair day much ! blog some other time. buhbye. [:
--
JAN 24, 2007.
new blog alert.
new blog. :D hahah. i never get tired eh? :O yes, i know.
well ask me through msn, here's my email add.
e-xiin@hotmail.com
i'll tell why did i make a new blog in my new blog. :DDDD
____________________
Mmkay.. These are all the posts from http://downward-love.blogspot.com. I told you it's gonna be one helluva long post. Hah hah. I took all the posts from there originally. I didn't edit them nor did I alter the words. So yeah, don't laugh 'cause I know I sound stupid in the posts.
As for the OTHER old blogs of mine, I will do the same. I don't intend to keep the links, so yeah. I IS GONNA DELETE THEM YARSZX. Hah.
ONE BLOG DOWN, FOUR MORE TO GO! I think?
Yeah, I think that's all. Toodleys doo.
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