you chose to let me down.

Morning peepos.

I skipped school. Muahah. See, I'm so guai. *angelic face with halo on top of head*

Anyways, maybe I'm going out with friends this afternoon, gonna go hunt for Ryan's birthday prez. Imperial, I s'pose? It's been ages since I last stepped into that mall and I mean God-knows-how-long. Ngek.

I'm still thinking what should I wear this afternoon? I'm so-o-o out of clothes. *frown*

Btw, I'm going to KL, confirmed. *beam* I can't wait! *jumps up and down* Imma gonna go shop shop shop. Since I'm going with the 'rents. So, I guess kachings is not a problem. *evil grin* Too bad we're gonna be there for only three days? Pfft. We're going to Genting, that's for sure. Daddy wants to go to the casino but Genting's hotel is fully-booked until the end of December. Wow much? Daddy said go for daytrip. Blah.

Last night, I felt a sudden rush of sadness. Moodswings, I s'pose? I layed on my bed still (more like lying in a pool of misery) with my eyes half opened, half closed, having flashbacks. I was kindofsortamaybe talking to myself. (Some of you might think I'm crazy but I just don't know who I can talk to except for myself. It's not that I don't trust my friends. It's just that ... Ah, forget about it.) Then, I started crying. I guess it's just one of those times when I miss him, badly. *big fat sigh* I said I'm over him but I guess not completely, somehow he still lingers in my mind.

Sometimes I can cover it well,
sometimes I can fake it well,
sometimes I can laugh louder than anyone else,
sometimes I can hold that ugly smile on my face for hours,
sometimes I can act as if I'm over those nitty-grittys, stuffs he won't even remember.

Tears after tears, crying alone at night,
with the thought of finding someone to talk to and hear me cry.
Sometimes I wonder, will they feel annoyed by me?
Irritated by my frequent cries?
Irritated by me crying over the same old stuffs?

I'm such a weakling. Just a simple flashback can trigger all those never-ending tears.

What's so great about him? I don't know.
What's so nice about him? I don't know.
I just remembered those times when I felt that he was true.

Who will understand and know how I feel deep inside?
No one, not even my closest/best friends.

I don't know why am I still so relunctant to let go completely.