i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

WHY IS IT WHATEVER BULLSHIT I DO IS FUCKING WRONG? WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS WRONG? WHEN AM I RIGHT? WHEN AM I EVER CORRECT? NEVER FUCKING EVER.

I can't stand living under the same roof with them. I seriously can't stand it. They are driving me mad.

Does it make any difference if I go to dinner a little later, a little slower? It's not fair. Why is it when they do it, it's normal. WHY IS IT WHEN I DO IT, IT'S FUCKING WRONG!?

I know I'm a fucking disgrace to this family. I know I never made you people proud. I know I bring shame and only shame to this family. I know I often trouble you guys. I know I'm good-for-nothing and I'm nothing to be proud of. I know I am fucking useless and worthless. But do you think I want that? Do you think I wish to be so wretched, so pathetic? Do you even know what it feels like to be me?

FUCK THE BLOODY WORLD IF THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND!

I am crying like dying shit right now and I don't know how to stop the fucking tears from streaming down my fucking face.

I fucking know I am fucking abortive, bootless, counterproductive, disadvantageous, dysfunctional, expendable, feckless, fruitless, futile, good-for-nothing, hopeless, idle, impracticable, impractical, incompetent, ineffective, ineffectual, inept, inoperative, inutile, meaningless, no good, nonfunctional, pointless, profitless, purposeless, scrap, stupid, unavailable, unavailing, unfunctional, unproductive, unprofitable, unpurposed, unusable, unworkable, vain, valueless, waste, weak, worthless.