i wish you loved me.

Oh no! The emo monster is back. *gasp* It is back to steal my vulnerable soul. Oh, emo monster.. Why won't you leave me alone? Shoo shoo.

So yeah, I'm feeling kind of down right now. It's either chatting with Sean about ... that made me feel moody or reading my old posts.. I guess it's both. Chatting with Sean just brought down my mood. I feel sad for him and I thought I was having a tough time. He's having a far more worse time. *sigh* And reading my old posts made me think about sad thoughts, those miserable times. Oh, don't get me wrong. Reading back reminded me about the joyful times too but it just reminded me more about those awful days. *tears forming at the back of my eyes*

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I also noticed something. Everytime me and him got in a fight, it's because of HER. *whimper* I'm scared of losing him, again. The thought of them getting back together terrifies me. I don't wanna be alone. I don't wanna feel lonely. Oh wait, I already am. Ahh shucks.. I know one day, someday he'll leave me, that's for sure but I just don't want it to happen now or any sooner. At least until I'm ready for it. *big fat sigh* I really wish we could last long. I wish he feels the same way I feel about him. I love him so much that I couldn't stop loving him although I told myself not to. I'm afraid I might end up hurt but seems like it's so inevitable because every little thing he does makes me fall in love with him. *sigh in despair*

Urgh. All this thinking makes my head hurts. Bah. I'm heading for the sheets.
Goodbye & Goodnight to all.